Your cereal is chosen for the fiber content instead of the toy content. For breakfast, you actually eat cereal instead of last night’s chicken wings and leftover pizza. You shut off the lights for the cost benefits instead of the sex benefits. It’s not the cop, it’s the doctor who’s telling you to slow down. It takes four people to light the candles on your cake before the first ones have gone out. Life is no longer just a pain in the ass. You save all your important reading for the bathroom. A nap chance sounds better than a lap dance. You might start feeling like you’re “old.” But let’s face it, you were old last year. Lots of creepy noises and smells you can’t explain. You start boring complete strangers with your medical problems. Anonymous Funny 60th Birthday Quotes: "Turning Sixty" It’s not so much that you’re nicer, you just can’t hear each other. One good thing about being 60 is you argue less. When you’re 60, nothing works like it used to, especially not my husband. You know you’re turning 60 when your husband wants a DNA sample to make sure you’re the same woman he married. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. Now that I’m 60, every morning I look in the mirror and say, “I don’t know who you are, stranger, but I’m gonna shave you anyway.” - Milton Friedman, presidential speechwriter Science / Nature Time / Reality Weather / Tech / School / College.Travel / Writing / Books / TV / Advertising.Health / Doctor / Food / Exercise / Beauty / Clothes.Movies / Music / Famous People / Funny Proverbs / Fortune Cookies / Witty Retorts.Life / Death / Inspiration / Work / Money / Success / Mankind.Love / Marriage / Parents / Kids / Women / Men / Family / Grandparents / Seniors / Aging / Friendship.Random Jokes / Favorite Jokes / Funny Emails / Funny Lists / Practical Jokes.Short Jokes plus Funny T-shirts / Funny Signs / Tombstones / Bumper Stickers.Sports / Baseball / Football / Basketball / Dogs / Cats / More.Doctor / Nurse / Dentist / Boss / Lawyer / Cop / Teacher / Geek / Engineer / Musician / Drummer.Men / Women / Marriage / Kids / Dates / Seniors / Grandparents.Anniversaries / Valentines Day / Saint Patricks / Mothers Day / Fathers Day / April Fools / Graduation / Halloween / Thanksgiving / Christmas / Easter / New Years.
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